The Horrors of Regulation

I'm starting to get bored with my life. Even my new layered, chin-length hair cut lost its novelty within three days. I'm trying to relieve this monotony, but I haven't been very successful. I suppose that why I have suddenly taken a liking to hats: within the past month, I have acquired three new ones. It gives me a little character, I think. The fedora is by far the best. The hot pink beret is the sweet/sassy look. The skullcap gives me a cone-shaped head, but it's still cute nonetheless.
I really must start this dance course Tsiona and I discovered, or else I might become one of those girls in my class whose main goal in life is to be a limudei kodesh teacher and marry a kollel guy.